|
thin line between sanities and insanities
|
Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 July
2005 June
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2004 October
2004 September
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| if life could only be easy... |
| 07.18.05 (5:56 pm) [edit] |
:cry: then i guess ill be more willin to live this stupid life..but its not..and even if im always wishful for some things to happen, they just wont happen and even if im so hopeful to find the easiest way out of my problems, there seems to be no such thing as "easy way out"...:(
|
|
|
| |
| ... |
| 07.13.05 (1:02 am) [edit] |
|
stil bored..nothin much's happenin..got this damn cough and colds..just like 2 weeks ago..and feelin a lil tired from school but im not studyin..wonder y i got tired..hmmm..hahah
|
|
|
| |
| haaay.. |
| 06.29.05 (4:24 am) [edit] |
|
life can get too tiresome sometimes..you want to set aside a lot of things aside but you just cant...its like every little thing you do is done because you have to...bcos its necessary...but not enjoyable..how i wish i could just curl up under my blanket with nothing but warmth and contentment..how i miss that feeling..
|
|
|
| |
| ... |
| 06.27.05 (2:45 am) [edit] |
|
:( miss my boyfriend so much...
|
|
|
| |
| ... |
| 06.22.05 (2:41 am) [edit] |
|
some eco prof told us in class that everythin depends on the person's state of mind...that whatever it is that ur always thinkin is exactly the thing that's goin to happen...so is it me or is it really my fate that most of the time i feel unlucky about some really umportant stuffs?! wen u lose a certain person, is it bcos fate demands that to happen or is it me who's thinkin that im goin to lose that person?! i never thought that il lose someone but i lost him..so i dont think its all in a person's state of mind
|
|
|
| |
| ... |
| 04.28.05 (8:32 pm) [edit] |
|
i dunno know wat to put in here..but i really miss my blogs and all the stuffs i usually do in the net...its like my life suddenly stopped since that incident happened to me a couple of mos. ago. now im startin to delete all the bad e-mails i got..cant believe i can be in such a deep trauma..i guess some things just dont work out the way u want them to be...even if u did everythin just for those things to work out...and there are some things that u dont expect to happen but did happen...for the past 2 most. ive been spendin my time cryin, curlin up in the bed with my mom cryin, watchin dvds and cryin, drinkin beers and cryin, goin to mass and cryin, spendin afternoons with grade school and high school friends cryin...im so tired of bein unhappy...wish i could meet that someone who will treat me the way i wanted to be treated --- special:'(
|
|
|
| |
| still feelin stupid |
| 03.26.05 (2:58 am) [edit] |
|
just like on my last blog here...stil havin problems with wat im feelin..he said he cant commit and stil im holdin on to him and to this unserious relationship wer havin...he talks bout his feelings for other girls..and me..stil talkin bout my feelings for him..it hurts..real bad..i wish ill get over this..but its been like 8 or more years and nothin bout my feelings for him changed..we got separated for like 5 years and now he's back and its more hurtin..
|
|
|
| |
| of heartaches and unreciprocated love |
| 02.15.05 (11:53 pm) [edit] |
|
:( they say its true love wen u dont expect anythin in return...but why is it that even if we dont expect for anythin..it still hurts..deeply...seriously...and why is it that sometimes wen u know that u just have to move on...somethin's holdin u back..is it plain stupidity or is it stubborness?!? why is it that even wen u are certain that this kind of relationship will never work..u still go for it and try ur best to make it work even if u know that it is impossible?!? :(
|
|
|
| |
| ... |
| 10.31.04 (9:22 pm) [edit] |
|
happy halloween everyone!!!;)
|
|
|
| |
| i know he's not readin this... |
| 09.30.04 (7:08 am) [edit] |
|
:( :cry: i know that what i did is somethin thats stupid. i hate myself cos i cannot do anythin bout the problem which i made...and now i can only tell myself everytime before i go to sleep that i can do better than this...that im not made for relationships like this one..and meetin u is not just one of the most painful experiences that i had..its probably the second most painful experience i had in my life...and the first time that i felt hurt this way is that time back in grade school..i felt rejected...and ur the only person who made me feel that bad...the second time is now..ur rejectin me slowly and its also slowly givin me pains...tell it to me straight now...i want to forget you..i want to hate you..and i wish we never met...you're stuck in your past while im stuck in the future im expectin'..and maybe its not just meant to be...we cannot do anythin to change fate...so im always prayin that God will teach me how to forget u...nothin's gonna work between us..i hate it that now ur already a part of my system and the only way i can do is tell people that im not in love with u...and u know whats the most stupid thing i ever did? is tellin u way back in 1996 that i love u and thats not gona change...and then i keep on sendin u letters..sayin the same thing..that i love u and thats not gona change..and then just this year i said the same thing to you...well..i just want to take back all the things i said...i dont love you...i dont care about u..and i have no plans of knowin you anymore...i wont say take care and i wont give you the kisses anymore...GOOdBYE P! :cry:
|
|
|
| |
| obviously feelin bad |
| 09.30.04 (6:51 am) [edit] |
|
:cry: :cry: :cry: I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...I HATE HIM...and i wanna say that again and again..i wont get tired tellin it to myself and to everyone else...and this is the LAST time ill say that I LOVE HIM...goodbye to u and the kisses we send each other everyday... :cry: :cry: :cry:
|
|
|
| |
| my life sucks!!! |
| 09.30.04 (6:46 am) [edit] |
|
:( life sucks..really...thats all i can say bout my life now...have to study hard although i dont know still what ill do after graduation..and oh..ill be graduatin' less than 2 years from now..hopefully :wink: and when it comes to personal issues..well, nothin much changed..i still got problems with this guy in the fling wit' me and my bf...i want to go back to the day that i met this 'fling luvin' guy ...tell myself everyday that i gotta hate this guy..not fall for him and just stay in a good solid relationship wit my bf... :(
|
|
|
| |
| can i do better than this?!? |
| 09.29.04 (6:59 am) [edit] |
|
:( dont u think its kinda stupid for a girl to be in a fling with some guy even if she has a boyfriend already??? the thing is, my bf and i have been together for more than 3 yrs. already..i guess u can already call that a serious stuff huh?? i know that...and this fling..i used to be very much in love with this guy..back in grade school..and it never changed..it even became deeper...and now he's livin' in another country..he knows bout how i feel..im happy with my bf..and the fling too..but im scared of fallin in love with this guy cos of the possible consequences...HELP!!!! :(
|
|
|
| |
| still the same |
| 09.22.04 (10:44 pm) [edit] |
|
:) as usual..nothin much is different in my life right now..its still the same boring life...i still got my bf...the same guy...and im still with my parents..still studyin the same things..and still goin out with the same people...last week, ive been goin to a lot of "fun" stuffs..or is it really fun..i went to a couple of concerts..of course its a free thing with the backstage passes too..thats the good side of bein close with the organizers..and bein trained as an officer for a school club too..u get freebies..free lunch..free dinner..free concert tickets and nackstage passes..but i didnt get to enjoy the concert..im not a fan of local artists, thats why..oh well..thats all i can say
|
|
|
| |
| all the things that hurt me... |
| 07.17.04 (11:30 pm) [edit] |
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
[b][/b] people who hates me..
people who can't be honest...
people who can't say sorry..
people who cant seem to appreciate...
people who leaves you alone..
people who pulls you down...
people who are so weak...
people who are so brave...
people who doesnt cry...
people who makes me cry...
people seemingly perfect...
and me, not that perfect...
people who cares all bout theirselves..
people who doesnt care...
people who makes mistakes...
and....THE PEOPLE I LOVE!
|
|
|
| |
| tell me!! |
| 07.08.04 (8:53 pm) [edit] |
well, im too lazy to study..
too lazy to go to school...
too lazy to wake up..
and too tired to go out with friends that are kinda cool..
too stressed to open a book...
too stressed to even talk...
too lazy to watch a movie...
too tired even for a walk...
u think im tired???
u think im lazy???
u think im stressed???
or im just plain uneasy??
u think its me???
or u think ders somethin wrong with my messed up heart??? tell me...u think its u???
|
|
|
| |
| untitlled... |
| 07.07.04 (3:45 am) [edit] |
|
:( sometimes its such a relief when this new guy aint sendin me any messages...its kinda sad in a way but its more of a relief bcos i dont have to feel perplexed bout somethin..hes cute..cool..and nice ..but sometimes those things are not enough to make me risk my relationship with my boyfriend..there must be love..and i dont know if thats missin or what..i really hope what im feelin ryt now is just some sort of infatuation..maybe craziness with stupidity too...it just feels so bad..i know i have to be honest all the time but i cant do anythin bout my feelings...if i cant control this..ill be blaming myself forever for bein such a loser..theyre just guys...and my bf is entirely different..am i just fooling myself? am i just convincing myself to be good? nway, i had a good time at national today..went out with dad too to buy somethin for my retainers..
|
|
|
| |
| how stupid!! |
| 07.06.04 (7:02 am) [edit] |
|
:( i just feel so stupid ryt now..it was all my fault..why did i ever thought of gettin to know him better...it was such a bad idea..he told me bout his feelings..i dont know what to believe..and even if its true..whats the point..nothin could ever happen..i got a nice perfect guy right now with me..my dear boyfriend..i couldnt afford to lose him..and i dont want to take any risk..i better forget bout this new guy..but how could i even do that..he's a good friend..and why do i even have to choose..i dont have to..i want my bf..oh..i just feel so stupid! i hate myself..i know whats right but i cant go for it..
|
|
|
| |
| cant think of a title |
| 06.21.04 (12:23 am) [edit] |
:) well, im feelin tired..got some muscle pains..went 2 greenhills yesterday to buy this monitor for my pc..bought a pair of shoes..went to an orientation today..seated in front..dont have a choice nway..and still waitin for an e-mail... :oops: well, thats it..
|
|
|
| |
| it's hard.. |
| 05.27.04 (12:09 am) [edit] |
|
B keeps askin me bout this guy that i like..why would i tell him? nway, i went to school today to interview the sc officers..
|
|
|
| |
| feels like this day is reallywasted.. |
| 05.20.04 (7:36 pm) [edit] |
|
:( didnt get a good sleep last night...dont know why but i envy my shihtzu who's in a deep sleep right below my feet..maybe,i still cant forget the problems ive been through lately..they're so big for me..and cant accept them til now..went to school to check the clearance but they'll be released on monday...went to the main bldg. to ask how long jap's OT will be mailed to PRI...didnt get enough answers though.. :( ate before that with abi and karen at coffee indulgence..had mocha cooler and ham and cheese fries *yummy* i wonder what's goin to happen next..
|
|
|
| |
| i miss my blogs! |
| 04.24.04 (7:18 am) [edit] |
|
:( :( :( everythin's still messed up with my life...and my bf's too.. :( ..he's goin to move to another school not bcos he failed in any subject...he's movin cos him parents cant accept the course he wanted...and i dont want to let him go...but that's goin to happen and i cant do anythin about that...i cant eat...cant sleep..and cant imagine my life without him..it's really cheesy to say that but that's the truth and i cant lie about my feelings...sometimes i hope i can so ican cover up what i feel so that people wont always have to ask "are u ok?"..i hate that question..but i cant do anythin about what im goin through.. :(
|
|
|
| |
| hahaha! |
| 04.15.04 (8:24 pm) [edit] |
|
:D haaah...just came out from my accounting classes...they were really boring...imagine 4 hours straight of accounting with a short 5 minute break...perhaps for peeing...or whatever students can do within that time...(but the only thing i can think of is peeing...hehe) :) oh well, im goin to get out of here soon..mom doesnt know that im out checkin my e-mails...im grounded from usin the at home u know...so im out... :) i guess u can call me a liar...who cares??? im goin to buy somethin pink today...a treat for myself for havin finished this week without any lates in class and for bein a nice girl..hehe :) ...and what's more?? mom and dad are ok now...they're not arguin bout anythin anymore...and we're ok too...so nothin's a big problem...well, jap and i cant meet today...bcos of his brother and his brother's gf bad pranks...stupid pranks i should say... :( ..
|
|
|
| |
| im soooo tired!!! |
| 04.09.04 (3:24 am) [edit] |
|
:x my back aches...my feet aches and my head too...im very tired from not gettin sleep enough lately and wakin up about 9:30 this mornin when i only got a sleep around 8.. :x dont u think that's so bad?? :? well, my boyfriend jap went here today...for a visit...i miss him so much...about 12..we started goin to different churches...quiapo church is so crowded...we possibly have gotten into the stampede if we didnt moved... :x ..a lot of people have no slippers on their feet...they're so dirty and sweaty...and it's so hot out there..we moved on to 7 different churches..jap was with us til on the third...he went home after that cos he has to catch on the 3 p.m mass with his family...good thing im home now...but the aches all worth it...it's for a good cause.. :)
|
|
|
| |
| this girl's life |
| 04.08.04 (3:38 am) [edit] |
|
:) got up from bed 'round 11:30..then had oreo-o's for breakfast with chocolate milk of course..the chocolatier, the merrier! :) then had fish and veggies for lunch *yuck* cos it's milkfish and i simply hate it...i didnt ate the vegetable cos i dont like it too... :( then i had yellow mango for dessert...i was about to clean my dish when i overheard dad talking to my grandma...yea, she went over..she was talkin bout how lazy my mom was and then i told her not to talk that way...an argument followed and mom made me quit...i did..i dont want to argue anyway...got messages from D.P. and D.J. ...D.J. called me sweetie...isnt that cute...i mean..it sounds really cheesy but ti think it's just cute and sweet too!! haha :D
|
|
|
| |
|
|
